With all of the advances in health care that have been made in the last 50 years many illnesses and injuries can be healed.  I sometimes find patients who are surprised that with their specific medical history there is not an ideal outcome for their illness.

These patients feel depressed, frustrated, and express very little hope for their future.  There are options on how these emotions can be processed.  Some patients blame themselves, others blame God, and sometimes the patient blames the health care team.

As I work with patients in these situations I try to move them away from “The Blame Game”.  My experience has shown me that spending your time and energy deciding who to blame and what reasons you have to blame them does not make you feel better about your situation.  I try to move the patient to thinking about what he or she wants to do with the new reality that is suddenly before them.  In almost every situation the patient still has options.  One example of this is whether they would like to go to a nursing home or go back to their own home with the assistance of Home Care or Hospice.  Some patients choose the nursing home because they do not want their family members to have to care for them at such an intensive level.  Others choose to home because being in their own surroundings and being cared for by those who love them is what they want.

There are no “right” and “wrong” answers in these situations.  What is available is choice, and it is the right of the patient to make the choice that they feel is best for their situation.  Once people see they have choice, their perceived need to place blame frequently either diminishes in intensity or disappears totally.  A chaplain along with other health care team members serves the needs of the patient as we help them make choices along their journey.